Déjà Malfoy
by CherryWolf-chan
Summary: He smirked, gesturing to his two mates. "Well this is Crabbe, and this is Goyle. And I'm Malfoy." Could be considered a companion piece to 'You're Only As Old As You Feel".


**AN: Just had this idea while looking at writing prompts. Couldn't help myself…. Okay, so a little preface. I'm working under the assumption that there was a professor or portrait or SOMEONE who saw Harry and Draco's first encounter (and some later ones), who then spread the gossip to the other faculty. Enjoy!**

 **Words: 3426**

 **Pages: 8**

 **~September 1, 2017~  
~Entrance Hall~  
~Hogwarts Castle~**

Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy swaggered into Hogwarts, hoping with all his might that he was successfully hiding his anxiety from the other students. As they waited for the Deputy Headmaster, Professor Snape to collect them for the sorting, the students talked amongst themselves.

Suddenly, Scorpius got a look at what had to be the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. So, being that he was eleven, he took the next natural step.

He made fun of her.

"Red hair? And a vacant expression? You must be a Weasley!"

She scowled at the blond boy, and narrowed her eyes. "Yes, I must be. And you are?"

He smirked, gesturing to his two mates. "Well this is Crabbe, and this is Goyle. And I'm Malfoy. Scorpius Malfoy."

No one noticed Professor Snape, who had been privy to the entire exchange. Fighting down the nausea that he felt at the feeling of déjà vu, he ushered the first years into the Great Hall.

Professor Snape handed in his resignation that very night, telling the Headmistress that he was much too old to deal with another Malfoy, and that he had been better off in Voldemort's ranks. The very idea of reliving even a portion of "The Potter Years", had Severus Snape himself, quaking in his boots.

 **~September 1, 2018~  
~Entrance Hall~  
~Hogwarts Castle~**

Septimus Severus Malfoy was finally in Hogwarts! What a jip that his twin got to go a year ahead of him. It was just the fate's cruel prank that had Scorpius born on August 31st, which was the absolute age cut-off date, while Septimus had been born on September 1st.

 _What a way to spend my eleventh birthday though!_

As he was looking around, waiting to be called in by the new Deputy Head, Professor Flitwick, to collect them, he saw a mousy looking brunette who was lecturing some poor sods about the history of Hogwarts, as told in Hogwarts, A History. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something about her that he couldn't help but be attracted to. There was something familiar there.

Being slightly more tactful that his brother, Septimus walked over, waving for his friends to join him, waiting for a break in the conversation to introduce himself, practically ignoring the two that the young lady had been talking to.

"Hello! It's a pleasure to meet you. This is Nott, and this is Zabini. And I'm Malfoy. Septimus Malfoy."

And with that, he held out his hand for her to shake.

Professor Flitwick, who had been about to call the students in before he stopped to watch the spectacle, swayed on his feet. Without giving himself a chance to watch the outcome, he herded the student into the Great Hall for their sorting.

He hastily wrote out his resignation notice on his dinner napkin, handed it to Headmistress McGonagall, and commenced with his dinner. He did feel bad for dropping out on her, so he would help her find a new professor as soon as possible though.

 **~September 1, 2022~  
~Entrance Hall~  
~Hogwarts Castle~**

Ascelina Artemis Malfoy, Imperátória Ignatia Malfoy, and Elysia Lucia Malfoy were as close as sisters could be. Being triplets, they had never really needed anyone else to talk to, and it showed as they stuck together until their sorting.

That all changed once they had been sorted.

Ascelina went to Slytherin.

Imperátória went to Gryffindor.

And Elysia went to Ravenclaw.

 **~Slytherin Table~**

Always the social butterfly, Ascelina was quick to make friends, but she knew where she wanted to stand in the Slytherin hierarchy even on her first day. And there was only one sure way of accomplishing that.

Smirking at the cute boy across from her, she gestured to her left and right as she introduced herself. "It's good to meet you! Well this is Malfoy, and this is Malfoy. And I'm equally Malfoy. Ascelina Malfoy!"

The boy smirked, her message getting across loud and clear. Her brother's were high in the Slytherin ranks, and she planned to take advantage of the foothold they had already provided.

"I'm Arlen Finnegan. It's a pleasure to meet you Malfoy, Malfoy, and lovely Malfoy."

What none of them saw was Filch, who had been patrolling by their table. Hearing the exchange, the man paled, grabbed his cat, and swiftly left the Great Hall.

 **~Ravenclaw Table~**

At the same time this was happening, Elysia was causing quite the buzz at the Ravenclaw table. She had already been sitting with two of her childhood friends when a girl, a fifth year by the looks of it sauntered up to her.

"Wow, what a hideous shade of imitation blonde! What are you trying to do? Emulate Draco Malfoy? As if anyone in the Wizarding World would ever believe you're related to Witch Weekly's Hottest Wizard Alive winner, fifteen years running. What's your name anyway firstie?"

Elysia smirked, rummaging in her bag as she nodded to her friends. "This is Zabini, and this is Longbottom…"

Finally finding what she was looking for, Elysia pulled out the latest issue of Witch Weekly, and flipped to a marked page. "And according to this, I'm Malfoy. Elysia Malfoy."

The girl turned a lovely shade of tangerine that none of them would forget in the coming years, and hastily made her exit.

Nobody noticed Madame Sprout, who herself had turned a sickly shade of green as she walked by. She had been patrolling the Ravenclaws as Minerva was still looking for a replacement to replace the last year's replacement. The Malfoy twins could give the Weasley twins a run for their galleons with what they'd put the poor man through before he had finally caved, quit, and fled with what was left of his sanity.

When she went up to the head table and quietly told Minerva that she would be handing in her resignation before the week was up, the Headmistress tried to tempt her back with promises of a larger Greenhouse and an entire field of Mandrakes.

Madame Sprout told Minerva exactly where she could shove her Mandrakes, and all the plants in the world weren't worth dealing with more Malfoys.

 **~Gryffindor Table~**

Simultaneous to the other goings on, Imperátória was situated between her own childhood friends, her nose stuck in a book as they tried to get her to join in the festivities. She looked up when she felt a knock to the front of her book.

When she looked up, she saw a fourth year boy who had messy hair and glasses, looking at her curiously. "What are you reading?"

She laid her book down, marking the page she was on. "Historia Temporis Obscuri. It means History of the Dark."

He gave her a lopsided grin. "Pretty deep stuff for a first year. What are you reading about right now?"

She smiled. "I'm on the chapter about Voldemort's first reign."

At the collective hitch in breath around the table, Imperátória rolled her eyes. "Oh please, grow up you lot! Fear of the name, only increases fear of the thing itself! Besides, he's dead!"

The boy smirked at her. "I like you. You've got fire. I'm James Potter by the way, what are your names?"

She grinned back at him, not believing that a handsome fourth year was actually still talking to her, and showing interest in her books to boot! "Well this is Nott and this is Montague. And I'm Malfoy. Imperátória Malfoy."

"Big name for such a little girl. Can I call you Tori?"

She smiled shyly at him. "Of course."

Lily Potter and Rose Weasley snickered at each other as they watched their respective brother and cousin go through the patented Malfoy introduction that they themselves had experienced in the past years.

Unnoticed by the students, the new Transfiguration professor, as well as the new Head of Gryffindor, and as of five minutes ago, also the new Herbology professor, silently stared at each other over the children's heads, before making their hasty exit.

Worried she was going to lose more of her staff, the headmistress swiftly followed them.

The scene she came upon was that of Teddy Lupin, and Neville Longbottom practically on the floor in hysterics at what they had just witnessed.

Thanking her lucky stars that this particular young lady hadn't repeated what all the other Malfoy siblings had managed to accomplish, the Headmistress made her way back to the Great Hall.

Unfortunately, she spoke too soon.

 **~Headmistresses Office~**

Later that night, she found herself in her office, with Professor Longbottom, trying to sort out the mess that had been caused by Imperátória's…well…existence.

Apparently, Imperátória had been arguing with The Fat Lady as to the appropriateness of having _pura_ as a password. When The Fat Lady had asked her, quite angrily, just who she thought she was, Imperátória gave her proud introduction.

The portrait stared her down, unflinchingly. "A Malfoy. Well that explains a lot. But not what you're doing in my house. Who is your mother?"

By this point, glaring at The Fat Lady, Imperátória proudly announced her answer. "Well when you would have known her, she was Hermione Granger."

And that, ladies and gentlemen is when everything hit the fan.

The Fat Lady threw open the portrait door, and took her leave…

…right to Professor Longbottom's chambers to tell him he needed to start looking for a new Gryffindor House Portrait.

And that is where Neville went running for the Headmistress.

"And then she goes on saying how she could live with a Malfoy in Gryffindor, but Hermione Granger was the most obtuse, rule-breaking pain in her paint that she had ever met. Apparently Hermione was always out at all hours of the night, and got snippy if she was asked questions. Throw that together with a Malfoy, and The Fat Lady is moving into the Hufflepuff dorms by the end of this week. She believes she's safe from anything even remotely related to a Malfoy in there. I decided against mentioning that Nymphadora Tonks, Hufflepuff alumni, was Draco Malfoy's first cousin."

Waving him out of the room, the Headmistress sat with her head in her hands, trying to ignore the snickering from behind her. As she got up to leave, she turned to take one look at the portrait of the previous Headmaster, and scowled. "You would do well to hold your tongue, lest I accidentally have Argus burn you to cinders."

Days later, when McGonagall went looking for Filch, she would find his quarters, emptied of all his personal effects, and a single sentence carved into his desk.

 _ **Malfoys. Never again am I dealing with Malfoys. You hear me?! Never again!**_

Albus didn't stop laughing until she began to threaten shipping him to Seamus Finnegan, so he could try turning him into rum.

 **~September 1, 2043~  
~Entrance Hall~  
~Hogwarts Castle~**

Aurea Draca Malfoy, or 'The Accident', as her siblings called her affectionately, had finally entered the halls of Hogwarts. Along with her same-aged, twin, niece and nephew, she waited to be brought in for sorting.

 _Please don't let them do anything embarrassing. Please._

This was the year that Draco and Hermione Malfoy, as well as Harry Potter and Ron Weasley had finally agreed to teach at Hogwarts. They had, had to long ago bury the hatchet seeing as 6 of their children had ended up married to each other and they now shared grandchildren. Some redheaded, to the horror of Draco. And some platinum blond to the disgust of Ron.

And then there were the strawberry blond twins at Aurea's side. They were kind of Harry's favourites, seeing as none of his genes came through past the Malfoy and Weasley traits. And Harry could not stop talking about what a headache all the mini-me's of Ron and Draco gave him. So strawberry blond was a nice change.

His wife thought he was insane. But that was okay with him.

As the new students were led in by Professor Longbottom, they talked quietly among themselves.

With the sorting over, and all three of them sorted to Slytherin to the disappointment of Ron and Harry, the festivities began.

As all four of the new teachers patrolled the hall, they managed to come together at the Slytherin table, in time to witness the following.

Vega, Aurea's niece, turned to her two companions. "Have either of you seen a toad? A boy named Cecil's lost one."

Vox, her twin, shrugged as he continued to inhale his food.

Vega raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "You've got plum sauce on your face by the way. Did you know?"

Vox rubbed his face, effectively getting more plum sauce on it.

A pug-nosed young lady called out to Aurea from across the table. "So, it's true then. There's a bit of a generation overlap at Hogwarts this year. How does it feel to be an accident?"

Aurea narrowed her eyes at the girl. "It feels like my parents are still madly in love with each other. Whereas yours, as I've heard, were forced into a contract marriage, and you were the clause that finally broke them free of that contract. How does it feel to be nothing more than an unloved, unwanted, means to an end?"

There was a chorus of "ohhhhhhhhh…" all around them.

Hermione had to smack Draco when he started to join in.

The girl scowled. "I'm willing to let that slide. But you'll have to shape up, and stop hanging around these two losers. And I've heard you mix with the other houses' members as well. That will have to stop of course. After all. You want your years at Hogwarts to be enjoyable don't you? Don't want to go messing about with the wrong sort, do you Aurora?"

Aurea glared at her. "I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself thanks. And here's a little tidbit. These two? Yeah meet Malfoy and Malfoy. And I'm their Aunt Malfoy. Aurea Malfoy. So if you even so much as consider messing with me or mine, just know this. _My father will hear about it_!"

This time, Draco had to elbow Hermione when she started snickering.

So far so good, right?

Spoke too soon.

Everyone happened to forget there was another grandchild present. This one was seated at the end of the Slytherin table, his messy, dirty blond hair covering his eyes as he muttered to himself with his wand out.

Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only (so far) grandchild of Harry Potter, and Seamus Finnegan, Sean Finnegan.

There was a din in the crowd as Sean's voice rang out.

"Eye of squid, monkey's chin, turn my pumpkin juice to gin!"

Predictably, it blew up in his face.

"OW! Bloody hell! My forehead!"

Aurea turned to the girl as she got out of her seat. "Don't go there either. Whatever he manages to do to you is a lot worse than anything I could come up with."

She ran to the end of the table along with her mum to check her friend. "Ouch. Bad job Sean. That's definitely going to scar. It looks kind of familiar though. Mum does that look like a lightening bolt to you?"

Hermione met her husband and friend's eyes, and slowly started backing away from the scene, just as her daughter started going off on the boy.

"Sean Finnegan! You need to start using you head! You could have gotten yourself killed! Or worse…expelled!"

The four adults looked at each other. Simultaneously shook their heads at each other and made their way up to the Headmistresses seat. They were not expecting what ended up happening.

McGonagall stood up abruptly. "NO! _ABSOLUTELY NOT_! I _refuse_ to do this again. And I knew, I _knew_ it would happen! But I've got news for you lot. That's right. This time, I QUIT! Ha! So there! I already put in my resignation for this term the moment I found out Hermione was pregnant again!"

And she kept going. "And that's another thing! You two breed like bloody rabbits, do you know?! Draco, wasn't it you always taunting the Weasleys for having so many offspring?! I had hoped I'd never have to say this to a man of your age, but learn some damn contraceptive spells, and bloody teach them to your children while you're at it!"

Then she seemed to ponder her words. "Or don't! I don't care! They're not my problem anymore, because this plan has been in the making for the last eleven years! The only reason I even came was so I could do to you what your children have been indirectly doing to me for years! I quit! Here Longbottom! You're the new Headmaster! Enjoy."

She threw her giant ring of keys, and her badge at Neville and stormed out.

Turning towards the newest professors, Neville saw them making a beeline for the exit. Throwing his hand up, he closed the doors with a bang.

"Oh no you don't. You all owe me favours. And now it's time to cash in."

They all exclaimed. "What favours?!"

Neville smirked.

"Hermione. You petrified me in first year. You're going to stick out at least this year just for that. Your saving grace was that you saved me from the pixies in second year."

Hermione scowled, walked up and took her seat.

"Ron. I cut off Nagini's head, when Harry was 'dead', so no one else had to. You owe me at least ten years."

Ron ran his hand over his face. He sulked all the way up to his seat.

"Harry. I kept up Dumbledore's Army while you were on the run with Hermione and Ron. That's got to be worth like fifteen years."

Harry decided to be a man about it and took his seat without any fuss.

"Malfoy—"

Draco rolled his eyes, huffing. "Yeah, yeah. We'll look at my contract again in thirty years. I get it. Kids, hear me now. Play nice. It doesn't pay off to be a wanker to anyone. Even if you think they deserve it at the time. Just use my example. I married one of my victims, and am related through marriage and grand children to the other two. And now this one is my boss. So please. Play nice!"

Neville smiled. "Well, I'm willing to bring you down to twenty if you do me another small favour…"

Draco raised a brow. "What…?"

 **~Spinner's End~**

"No."

"Come on, it's for a good cause."

"No."

"All of our bloodlines have been diluted. I swear. None of them that are there now are even remotely like any of us."

"Minerva told me why she quit."

"…please Uncle Sev?"

"Don't call me that."

"Come on. Do it for me? We have professors for everything else! I'm DADA, Weasel is Flying, Hermione is Arithmancy and Potions, and Potter is History of Magic. Mini-Lupin is still doing Transfiguration, and Hagrid, Trelawney and Sinistra are still doing COMC, Divination and Astronomy. Longbottom is even pulling Bill Weasley in so he can teach Charms! We just need one more for Herbology. Please?"

"No. And why do you care so much anyway?"

"Because if you do this then Longbottom will reduce my contract by ten years."

"Draco, there is no way in hell I'm allowing Neville bloody Longbottom to pull me out of retirement to go back to that heinous place, which is now, apparently, overrun by Weasleys, Potters, and Malfoys. Do you not remember why I left to begin with?"

"Just one year Uncle Sev! Do it for me?"

"Draco, even if I wanted to, I can't."

"Why the hell not?!"

"Because I have a phobia of plants."

"…are you serious?"

"No, I'm Severus. Sirius was a fucking idiot."

Draco's eye began to twitch.

He threw Sean Finnegan's water to gin spell at the pitcher on Severus' desk, and apparated away with a crack, scowling.

Severus smirked to himself, wiping water and soot from his face.

"Classes haven't even started and he's this cantankerous already. I can't wait to see the state they're all in at winter break. Or sooner. I might have to visit the school after all."

He kneeled at his fireplace and flooed Minerva.

As soon as she appeared in the flames, she smirked at him. "Making plans to visit the school?"

"How ever did you guess?"

"I just had Hermione Malfoy in here, begging me to come back. Apparently Mr. Longbottom is quite the slave-driver."

"You know Minerva…as much as it pains me to say it…I think I finally approve of Longbottom."

 **AN: DONE! Man, when I get an idea, I sure as hell get an idea. I couldn't stop writing! Hope you liked it, and please R &R.**


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